Rounds 8 and 9

I have switched back to days the last 2 weeks and it is ALWAYS crazier at work and more time consuming, but only to the point where I get behind logging my workouts (I still do them).  Running is vital to my sanity and stress relief at work.  It's not even the stress of not liking the job. It is the stress of not doing enough for my patients, not "saving" them.  The miles of running allow me to rehash all the work stressors and refreshing me to start anew.  It is my medicine for burnout. 

Okay so here it is...

Round 8 (9/26-10/02) -- this week absolutely rocked for me running wise!!

Mon: 5 miles (9:24/mile roads and easy)
Tues: 7.6 miles (speedwork 4x1200 w/ 3:00 min rest target 5:30, actual 5:23, 5:27, 5:25, 5:25)
Wed: OFF
Thur: 6.1 miles (tempo 2 miles 7:18, 7:22)
Fri: 16.50 miles (9:01/mile long run easy)
Sat: 9.54 miles (paced run target 7 miles 7:50-8:10/mile, actual 7 at 7:56/mile)
Sun: OFF

Total: 44.74 miles

Round 9 (10/3-10/9) -- and this week actually kinda sucked.  I felt tired and slow...

Mon: OFF
Tues: 3.64 (8:40/mile easy, exhausted from 12+ hrs at work)
Wed: OFF
Thur: 7.65 (blown tempo anything above 55 is too hot; 0.94 miles in 7:49 (8:21/mile), 1 mile easy 10:04, 1.94 miles at 7:36/mile,-- ackk!!)
Fri: 3.85 (9:23 easy, still feel exhausted, achy all over, hard to breathe)
Sat: 9 miles (Ladder 400, 800, 1200, 1200, 800, 400, with 1/2 the time rest interval -- I got up at 6:30 in the morning to avoid the heat and do this)
Target 1:50 per 400
Actual 1:43, 3:47, 5:30, 5:26, 3:36, 1:50
and 4 miles (9:25/mile easy in the late afternoon)
Sun: 6 miles (9:13, was going to be a long run, but still tired aching and can't breathe -- too warm)
        
Total: 34.14

Seems there is always a week every few weeks where my body just quits on me and acts like it has never done this before.

Top Gun

It's getting easier, running that is.  The soreness and stiffness after runs, when I get out of bed and just in general has minimized.  I'm feeling more rested too.  I know aerobic changes can take 6-9 weeks, so hopefully I've finally adapted a little. 

I ran a nice 16+ miles tonight in the rain.  I had hoped I might catch a break from the down pour, but nothing doing.  I thought the run would be rough too, seeing as how I went out and had 2 glasses of malbec wine and 2 more beers when I came home  last night.  (side note: I am not a bum, but I don't really go out anymore, unless you count me leaving the house for work or to go running). 

I've come to terms with my performance at Akron and I'm moving on.  No I take that back, I am using that race as motivation to train smarter and harder (and not run like that again).  I am egocentric.  I have always appreciated each and every opportunity to share a running (or triathlon or basketball) experience with whomever it is, but I am a competitive junkie at heart.  When I am the slowest person or the least talented person, of course I am going to kill myself to be the best.  The clock and the scoreboard don't reflect my effort, they just show how close or how far I am from the better opponent.  It's like Iceman says in "Top
Gun" -- "No points for second place boys." 

I am my own worst critic.  I have been characterized as overly analytical more times than I can count.  However, I am a realist and while I will never be Kara Goucher,  I still have more milestones and PRs to attain.  I just gotta "watch the hardeck" and maybe, just maybe I'll be able to "buzz the tower" soon. 

Round 7 -- Already???

I can't believe I'm half way through my training block and I've only had (IMO) one crappy week of training.  While I didn't always have the most stellar runs, the mileage has remained steadfast and I have become a woman on fire diligently trying to get in every run.  In fact, this week I took my very first day of paid time off (PTO) for my birthday, just to ensure my mileage goal was met.  I got paid for 4 days and only worked 3 and that extra day off yielded quite the mileage windfall to my delight.  Sometimes, I wish I worked three 12's, but with the 4 rotating shifts I do have the opportunity to hit some mega OT (and I need the $$$) and I like that a whole lot come pay day...

Mon: 4 miles (9:04/mile - roads, tight and sore)
Tues: 2 miles (10:00/mile - easy on the TM in the AM after work) and 6 miles (speedwork 6 x 400 meteres @ 6:50/mile with 400 meter RI @ 10:00/mile and 2 x 200 meters @ 6: 45/mile with 200 meter RI @ 10:00) mile on TM to wake up the 3 fast twitch muscle fibers I have in PM  after some sleep) -- also strength training for core and upper body PM
Wed: 5 miles (9:24/mile - roads, easy, still tight and sore) then ice bath -- brrrrrrr!!
Thur: OFF
Fri: 2.50 miles (No watch - easy shake out run before race with 4 x 100 meter strides)
Sat: 13.05 miles (2.5 mile warm-up, Akron Relay Leg, and 7.75 cool-down) 
Sun: 20+ miles (9:13/mile - long run, roads, Garmin refused to come on)

Total Miles: 52.55 miles

Arkon Marathon Relay (Four Fast Freaky Females) 2011

As most of you know the Akron Marathon relay is for 5 people and my team name is "Four Fast Freaky Females," so either

a) my team did not count me as fast
or
b) we were short a runner and someone had to run two legs

While the more believable answer is a) the truth is b).

I was to run the 2.8 mile leg through Sand Run.  I had never done the 5-person relay before, but having run the full and the 2 person relay one time each, I have ALWAYS run this section.  It is in my opinion the worst section of the course.  It is boring like the towpath and mostly uphill.  There is nothing exciting going on and it comes between mile 15.5 and 18.3 (which completely sucks for the marathoners).  If you survive this section the course is awesome to the finish, not easy, but way more exciting!!

I was the only teammate not in bun huggers.  I want to wear tight shorts, but I'm too smooshy and too slow (it's more the smooshiness that I defer from the bun huggers than the slowness).  Anyway, my mom was nice enough to get up at 5:00am to haul me down to the start and then to the relay point.  We were able to watch the start of the race and see e-speed come through at HER pedestrian pace (which is still a pace, many of us can only dream to run for one mile).  We screamed and cheered for her as she ran down High Street before jumping in the car and heading out to my relay point. 

My legs had felt pretty good the night before on my shake out run.  I had taken an ice bath on Thursday and only worked 3 days leading up to the race.  The plan was to run for fun, but the girls fun pace is still faster than my "shit your pants pace," so I still felt I had to run as hard as I could. 

I ran about 2.5 miles easy for a warm-up and felt pretty good.  It was overcast and cool.  I wasn't certain how fast we would be but I figured worst case scenario daisy would be in at 1:45:30 (that's 7:00/mile).  Impressive huh?  I jogged down the hill backwards to try and stay warm and loose and as I turned to jog back I saw a woman coming that looked an awful lot like, yep you guessed it....DAISY!! 

Oh boy!  Game time.  I ran back up to the hill and jumped just a few steps in front of the mat.  Daisy was almost to me when one of the race people started yelling at me to get back behind the line, runners were coming.  All I could think was "Look ya crazy broad!!  This is my teammate and she is the only one here!!!"  I took one step and she kept yelling, but I ignored her.  Daisy had to run up the hill to me and was probably exhausted and as far as I was concerned once she crossed the mat her job was done.  I grabbed the snap bracelet out of her hand and took off.  I secured the bracelet to my wrist and then started my garmin.  I felt good and knew I probably wouldnn't catch anybody, but hopefully I wouldn't get passed by too many.  The first mile felt awesome (it should have it was downhill or flat).  I dont' look at my Garmin when I run, but after reviewing my splits it came back at 6:52. 

Mile 2 started okay, but between the hills, the inclines and the curvy road I started to slow.  I kept thinking "you're not dead yet, run dammit, run!!"  I felt like I had run a 5k by the end of mile 2 and I was breathing heavy.  I felt like I was in quicksand.  I tried to keep pushing myself.  "Just 0.8 miles, Hang on!!"  I kept telling myself.  My garmin split 7:42 (what the hell, just happened?).

Salty said she would run back about a half mile to meet me, but when my watch beeped she wasn't there.  I know I started my garmin late, so I was well passed 2.5 miles and I didn't see the relay point either.  Oh shit!!  Was this course long?  As I rounded a bend to the right, there she was just up ahead running toward me (Thank you Jesus!!).  She did a U-turn and I could feel her trying to pull me along up to her, but she was too fast and I could see the gap getting bigger.  No women in the relay had passed me until that point and then it happened.  A significantly faster chick ran me down.  I figured Salty was faster, but what about the girl Salty had to run against?  Had I just cost us a spot?  I hung on as best I could and ran for the mat.  

I crossed the mat, relieved to be done, or so I thought.  Salty was running away from me and the race people kept telling us to keep coming!!  What the hell, not again, except now I was on the other end of it and hurting.  Finally got the snap bracelet into Salty's hand and stopped my Garmin.  It had 0.9  at 6:55, yuck!!  I figure starting my garmin late and still being over the distance put me close to 3 miles insteasd of 2.8 -- SHIT!!

I bent over disgusted with the way my leg of the race had gone.  I was bent over and spitting in the grass, trying to decided if I needed to puke or not.

I hoped I hadn't cost my teammates too much time.  I think my official time was 21:23 (suck it!!)

Turns out that girl that had passed me was on a mixed relay team, and Salty ran the last girl down anyway.  We finished in 2:53:57.  We were 3rd overall and missed 2nd by a mere 23 seconds.  All, I had to do was run 8.5 seconds per mile faster and I couldn't do it.  Who knows had I run under 7:00/mile like the rest of my team, perhaps I would have set Salty up for a fighting chance at the line with the first place team.  Damn, my slowness!!!! 

I do feel I let them down and I am embarassed.  I trained as best I could leading up to the race and ran as hard as I could, yet I am still disappointed.  I don't want to end this on a bad note because everything else about the day was awesome.


E-speed was like Tigger on speed bouncing around from the start of the day until the finish.  Daisy was her usual matter of fact self, all business, changing hats from relay team leader to party captain without missing a beat and Salty taking it all in stride, enjoying a little free time with friends, smiling from ear to ear like the cheshire cat before heading home to share her day with the mini-salties. 

As for me, I'm glad they let me run on their team, drink a few alcoholic beverages and share in the moment.

Round 6 (almost half way)

This post reminds me quite a bit of my running and by that I mean -- Behind!!  I can't help it, but that's how I feel.  It's been six weeks since I started trying to run more than 15 miles a week and I am just not seeing the time progressions in my races like I used to or had hoped to.  Although, I am not training harder than normal, I am definitely tired than in the past training cycles with all this work mixed in.  I guess I am still trying to cope with being older and being slower, and just when I thought I had the ability to get faster too, after my anemia was fixed a few years ago, arrggghhh!!! 

Mon: OFF
Tues: 4.25 (8:46/mile - attempted long run gone bad, legs were sluggish)
Wed: OFF
Thurs:17.39 (8:39/mile - went out for 8 miles after work and weather was so perfect, forgot to come back - long run)
Fri: OFF
Sat: 9.92 (9:05/mile - quads sore from Thursday)
Sun: 4.74 (warm-up and cooldown for race) and 5K race (7:25/mile)

Total: 39.43 miles

Cuyahoga Falls Natatorium 5k

I had a strange request for my 34th birthday.  I wanted my family to run/walk a 5k.  Everyone was game, even my sister-in-law who was 4 months pregnant and who would be pushing my 18 month old niece.  Whoo Hoo!! 

It seemed after lots of trash talking amongst certain family members, only my little brother and I would be running.  My little brother is by far the best runner in the family (he ran a marathon when he was 15, because he is nuts), but after dislocating his knee cap a few times over the past 10+ years his leg just doesn't handle the repetitive pounding that running provides.

My legs were trashed from the 17+ miles I had run after work on Thursday.  It had been such a nice evening when I had gotten home from work the scheduled 8 miles, somehow transformed into 17.  I thought maybe a 3 mile warm-up would help workout some of the stiffness, but all throughout the warm-up, I felt fatigued and tight.  I stretched and did a few dynamic exercises along with some striders -- nothing seemed to help. 

My brother and I started somewhere in the middle, which was still too far back.  We had to run around people and it took us a few seconds to just cross the starting line.  My brother's plan was to try and run with me (and then probably move in for the kill at the end) for as long as possible.  My plan was to run steady effort throughout and not fade, like last time. 

The course was not flat.  It was rolling, but shaded.  There were a lot more women in front of me than I had hoped.  I hoped some of them would start coming back to me as the miles wore on and to my delight a few did by the first mile.  I felt good and on cruise control.  Mile 1 was 7:20 and although I felt good, it was slower than the last race and knowing there were more rollers coming I had low expectations. 

Mile 2 seemed to take forever and I was able to get a few more girls, so I think I passed about 6 at this point.  I had lost my brother almost immediately and hoped he was just a few steps behind me.  I was breathing well, but my legs were dead.  I split 7:27.

At the start of the last mile, I had been focused on this brunette in a long sleeve white tee and black capris.  I had worked my way up to her over the last two miles.  She had faded pretty hard, but I had the feeling that if I passed her she would be one of those that will fight you to the end, even if she has to sprint, back-off, sprint and back-off -- you know the kind I'm talking about.  I don't usually strategize in a foot race.  I am too slow.  I just run my best to the finish, but for some reason with her, I felt if I passed her I would have to pick-it up and give her the impression that I had started off slow and was now just getting up to a pace that she shouldn't even bother trying to hang on to.

Apparently, I am a bad actress.  I opened my stride up and took off as I passed her.  I know I gapped her, I could feel it as I ran hard for about 200 meters.  I had also managed to close the gap on two women up ahead of me.  I tried to focus on catching them, but I had the feeling that the girl behind me was more of a threat than the two in front of me.  I surged again as I caught and passed each girl.  I was definitely beat at this point and with 500 meters to go I hit the last hill before the finish and then it happened.  The girl I had passed and suspected would be a threat at the finish passed me!   Crap!!  I picked up the pace and stayed with her to the 3rd mile marker and split 7:29. 

As always, when you hit that 3 mile marker in a race the last .1 feels infinitely longer than when you run it in a warm-up.  I was gassed.  She picked it up and started pulling away.  I half-ass tried, but my body and my heart had nothing.  I couldn't get my legs moving faster than a 6:55/mile pace.  I hit the line in 23:13 (garmin).  I  don't know the official results, the website is "under construction." 

My garmin said 3.14 and avg pace was 7:25/mile, which was about the same as the last 5k.  Uuugghhh!!  I am so not progressing as fast as I would like to. 

My little brother finished in 24:37 (7:55/mile).  He said could see me up until the last mile and then I "took off."  We laughed about that, because he admittedly faded pretty hard that last mile and ran 8:45. 

My parents finished holding hands (my dad was listed first in the results, so of course he razzed my mom, who will probably never finish a race with him again, haha!).  My preggo sister finished by running into the finish and my niece started screaming bloody murder at the 2 mile marker so my brother had to pick her up (she gets a DNF!!). 

Here is the video to the finish.  I think I am somewhere afte 7 mins and my brother is about 8:30 - 9:00 minutes in. 

An Unnecessary Thank You

In my last post I mentioned I had received a letter from a family member of a cancer patient thanking me for my "help." As I also mentioned I don't feel I did anything extraordinary, but I did what I do, and will ALWAYS do for my patients. This is why I chose oncology and why I can be an oncology nurse.

Yes, it tears me apart when a patient and his wife get discharged after just being told to go to the beach, spend time with your loved ones because all avenues of treatment have been exhausted and goodbyes are less than a year away, like I did on Friday last week. I shed a few tears of my own with them and hugged them goodbye, really pissed off there wasn't anything else I could do for him, angry that this stupd disease existed.

This stupid disease can scare even the strongest and bravest at any moment, even those with very promising outcomes, like my other patient. He needed 3 cycles of chemo and had tolerated the first cycle just fine, but this second round he was hit with chemo-induced nausea and vomiting (CINV), and it scared him so badly he wanted me to stop his infusion pumps and discharge him at that instant. We talked (and I don't consider myself funny, but for some reason others do and my sense of humor has become an asset in oncology) and laughed, even left the building for a little bit. In the end, he survived his second round of chemotherapy and gave me a huge bear hug before he left the unit to go home upon discharge.

I am always touched by the large and small gestures of cancer patients and their families. It reminds me even for those who I can't help save, perhaps the support and care I gave them helped ease their mind and pain for just one second.

Anyway, here are the letters I received from the family...

"I would like to acknowledge Beth for being such a kind,compassionate and informative nurse. She has provided patient X, who has cancer and is struggling with this, has renewed my hope in our profession. The time, care and true understanding of a pt's needs made me proud to have met her."

and (same family, different person)

"I wanted to thank you for going above and beyond, showing sincere compassion for patient X when he needed it. You are an incredible nurse, and my family is thankful he was in your hands."

and the letter they wrote to my boss...

"Dear (ElizaBeth's Boss),

I wanted to thank you for being kind to patient X, although I know you treat everyone like that-I would just like to recognize your thoughtfulness.

Also your nurse Elizabeth Hxxxx, (I hope I spelled it correctly), showed patient X empathy, warmth, and understanding during a difficult time. Despite having other work to attend to, she took time to destress patient X by walking him outside, which made all the difference. She had to stay late to chart and never complained about it, instead she held patient X's hand and talked with my family. She admitted she is a newer nurse, but one would not be able to tell. Her thoroughness, motivation and skills preceded her. She is your best asset and thought you should know how wonderful one of your own has done.

On behalf of patient X, my family and myself-thank you!"

It was extremely kind of this family and unnecessary for them to recognize me like this and I appreciate their kind words more than they will ever know.