Dream A Little Dream

I need to become more regular again regarding my blogging and by that I mean 3-4 times a month, not once a month.  I have been a busy bee though with other things.  No rest here.

Work has slowed down a bit and I am not being called in every week for OT, although I did willing volunteer Tuesday night to be on-call and ended up going in for a few extra hours.  Lord knows I am going to need the money to fix my broken self.

On my way home yesterday I stopped at Solon Spine and Wellness to see TK, who has been providing me with temporary relief in my left foot with his magic hands.  After that it was a quick trip home to let the beasts out for a potty break and then over to the Twinsburg CCF facility to see my doctor. 

He seemed genuinely bummed to hear that the orthotics (that cost $400 mind you) had not brought me any relief.  He examined my foot and ankle, making sure to hit all the tender spots and make me wince (there are four) before saying the 3-letter acronym I knew was inevitably coming when the orthotics had failed.  "Let's do an MRI, okay?"  "Okay," I replied.  Another test, another long test, but over the last few weeks my attitude has definitely moved into a more depressed state in regards to this.  I have put running again out of my mind and become desperate to just WALK without pain again.  I know I did this to myself, but 2 years of this has now become too much.  I dream of the day when I don't wince in pain (at least not on my left foot/ankle anyway).  Anyway the MRI is next week and hopefully, I can make some headway, err "foot-way" with this.

Cracked - A Fit Club Intervention

Time has been ticking and over the past 3 months my foot has not improved as I had hoped.  I've drown my sorrows in food, fun, work, alcohol, vacationing you name it and it works for awhile....

But then I see myself in the mirror and I feel every lazy pound I have packed on because of my sedentary life style and my couch potato ways.  I am my lightest when I race a marathon at 126-128 pounds, but I have let it creep up to 138!!  I haven't weighed that much since before my anemia was diagnosed.  I have developed terrible eating habits i.e. eat everything in sight and the amount of alcohol I have put away in comparison to the past has increased (Call me a wannabe alchy if you will) beyond what I feel comfortable with. 

Switching to nights permanently has definitely helped.  Even on my off days I stay up all night until about 9-10 am.  I have even attempted two 5 mile runs this week at an albeit very conservative pace.  The foot doesn't scream FIRE, but it does hurt and there is absolutely no way in heck I can start training with it like this.

So, I finally cracked and went to the Twinsburg Fitness Center and got a membership.  It seemed so stupid at first, I mean I work downtown at the main campus of CCF and we have not one, but two gyms available.  However, the idea of working a 12+ hr day with nearly 2 hours of additional driving makes working out a dream.  The spin classess never seem to correlate with my schedule and I am not going to drive 50+ miles to go to the gym and back, hence my TFC membership. 

I ran last night at 1:00 am and at 5:30 am packed up my gear and headed to the gym for my new membership.  Luck was on my side and because I am a Reminderville resident and I work for CCF (get this) it's $22/month -- that's it!!  That was cheaper than my JCC membership -- SCORE!

I changed my clothes quickly and hit the 6:00 am spin.  TY was leading the class and gave me the run down about the class as I warmed up.  The workout was great.  I was practically sweating like this chick (I'll take it -- she's fast)!  Everything was based on cadence and quarter turns and I pushed myself pretty hard.  I am sure my ass is gonna be sore after I finally get some sleep.  His music also matched the paces (lots of Green Day, All American Rejects and Linkin' Park -- and I love them all!).  I felt very weak and out of shape.  TY talked to me after the class inviting me on an outdoor ride that would be starting when the weather finally broke and stating that if I came to his class I would get stronger -- I sure hope so.  I am a little disappointed with how soft I have become (literally).  Hell I didn't even like taking off my shorts to snorkel in my bikini bottom in Hawaii' my ass had (still has) so much cottage cheese, but hopefully I can tighten this sh*t up and lock it down. 

** Just a side note: My weight has rocked from 113-145 pounds since I was 21.  I know how I look and how I feel.  I hate that a woman's weight is like a white elephant in the room, that no one can talk about.  I am not a small girl for cripes sake.  I am 5'7" and I like to eat -- a lot, but there is no reason why I have to hide my additional smooshiness from anybody or lack-therof. The thing is -- we all get older, we all age, we all have our own demons to battle.

On Deck

It's been nearly 3 months now since running went on the back burner due to my foot, oh hell, what am I saying it completely fell off the stove.

Anyway, I got my orthotics 2 days ago and I am back on nights, so we shall see how it goes.  The doctor said to break them in slow and apparently his definition and mine are different.  I thought I would wear them at work every other day, but nope he recomends starting with 30 minutes and working my way up to a few hours!  At that rate, I wont be running until 2013, sheesh!!  I am gonna play it by ear, errr, I mean foot and see how it goes.  No races planned, but hopefully by fall I will have at least a half marathon on deck.

Less than a week until Hawaii and I am so looking forward to the sun and sand.  I need a little re-juvenation after my intermittent bouts of UPTO.  I have never been sick like this (cold in Nov, pink eye in January and now the stomach flu).  My personal goal was for work on my individual development plan was to become healthier and of course with any goal it must be measureable so decreased sick days and weight loss is the way I am going. 

In the meantime, I am gonna keep counting the days until me and A-train leave this thankfully mild winter behind for a bit and keep breaking these orthotics in.

Great Distractions

Life has been no less than pretty great since the holidays ended. I find my plate overloaded with tasty treats in 2012, but something is missing.

Work has been extremely busy as usual and overtime is inevitable for me.  The only way I seem to be able to avoid it is by making plans, so I can't stay or refusing to pick-up my cell phone on my days off, which I am working on.  I have made a decision to move to straight nights too.  The thought had been brewing for months now and after weighing all the pros and cons I think it will be worth it in the long run.  Some of the advantages included no more rotating shifts and getting on a regular sleep schedule.  Parking will be cheaper per month and I will make an more money. 

 I found myself purchasing a new vehicle.  A-train thinks it looks like a booger on wheels and I have to keep re-educating him that mucous is white to yellow and only green when infection is present, but alas I think it's a losing battle with him.  He's just gonna keep referring to my car as such.

My employer offered us FREE nose bleed seats to any Lake Erie Monster's game and A-train and I sat through three exciting periods of hockey.  The goalie that night (Gerald Coleman) was freakin' amazing only allowing 1 goal on about 30 shots.  Gloves and helmets even came off for a few brawls on the ice!!  Lately, when I go to watch the CAVS or Indians we have lost, but I finally broke my losing streak as the Monsters took the win 3-1. 

Before the game we needed to eat dinner and I decide I would keep it a secret from A-train that we were going to hit up The Chocolate Bar!!!  We each had a very tasty martini.  I got the chocolate banana creme and he got the boring plain old chocolate martini.  Mine was WAY better.  A-train picked brie with chutney for an appetizer.  Funny thing is he had never had chutney and wasn't sure what it was until I told him.  When it arrived he had absolutely no qualms about eating most of it.  The main course included pesto salmon for me and a buffalo chicken sandwhich with fresh kettle cooked chips for him. Overall the food was pretty good and the price was reasonable, except for the $10 martinis, but that's what we expected.



After what seemed like forever, we had an official GNO at BB's house. It was perfect with the exception of a damn snowstorm that hit that night, so the roads on the way home were less than ideal for driving on. MK also left her hazards on and drained her battery, but thankfully e-speed and I knew how to jump a car, so she was back in business after we borrowed BB's jumber cables. 

I did manage to get my hands on this stuff too while I was there ....

Barrel-Aged Blackout Stout

Blackout Stout aged in oak bourbon barrels.

ABV: 9.5%

ABW: 7.6%

IBU: 50

Awards

• Gold Medal, 2011 World Beer Championships

 

And let me tell you -- it's pretty dam good!

On the horizon first and foremost is my vacation to Kauai!!  It's only 19 days away and I can't wait.  I am finally going to see the ocean up close and personal.  Only 10% of the island has roads and offers quite a few places to hike.  I plan to attempt surfing and scuba diving (or at least snorkeling), horseback riding and we are going to be there for Waimea Town Celebration. 

And although, things are different in a great way, deep down I carry with me a little bit of sadness and a lot of yearning that I still can't run the miles I so badly want to.  My foot has reached an impasse.  It's no better or no worse.  I'm still waiting for them to complete my orthotics and sneaking in 3-4 miles once or twice a week just to hear the ground crunching under my feet and my heartbeat pumping hard as I trot along.  I guess there just are no substitutions for true loves.

My 12 Months of 2011

This year was filled with ups and downs, dare I say it though... I think I came out on top!

January - Spent weeks prepping for the hardest test of my life (thus far) and quit waiting tables at Longhorn!  Yes!!!!

February - Took the hardest test of my life (thus far) and PASSED!  Yes!!!!

March - Started my job as an RN in oncology at one of the most renowned hospitals in the country!  Yes!!!

April - Finally got to run the Boston marathon after having to skip it a couple years in row!  Yes!!!

May - Put up a 10k (soft) PR -- one of the few I got this year!  Yes!!!!

June - Race my first of only two triathlons this year and managed to incorporate a surprise birthday party for A-train into it.

July -  Somehow managed to PR in the Fairport sprint tri on minimal training (swimming in races only) and feeling like a hippo in spandex (that's a boooo!!) Yes for the PR!!!!

August - Finally got my Eleanor and ran the Twilight Trail race without completely blowing up and destroying myself!  Yes!!!

September - Finally, got the whole family to run a race together, even if G-unit cheated and then DNF'd ;o)  Ran the Akron Relay with 3 Freaky Fast Females and came in 3rd female team overall.  Yes!!!

October - Hitting up Columbus with the best gal pals EVER (including two of the Freaky Fast Females) to run the half marathon and party!  Yes!!!!

Novemenber - Traveled to Chicago with KM and the decimator to eat way too much chocolate fondue after racing my first 15k ever, which led to my only other PR this year!  I also completed marathon number 6 -- didn't go very well, but I did it nonetheless.  Yes!!!!

December - Tried to do my own little version of a "shopaholic" and bought lots of gifts for myself and the family.  My checkbook may have been fatally wounded after after those final weeks in 2011!!  It was awesome buying my family some "big" gifts after being so poor through my 3 degrees.  Yes!!!

Looking ahead to 2012, I've got a lot of possibilities on the horizon in all aspects of my life (professionally and personally), starting with getting my orthotics so I can run again and finding a place to live all my own.
And that's a wrap.

Rx

I finally got in to see the doctor after work on Tuesday, thanks to A-train sacrificing his vacation time to pick me up after my 12 hour night shift to drive my slap-happy ass out to Westlake (It turns out the doctor had appointments available in Twinsburg and the scheduling people botched it up.  I think the doc was more aggravated than I was about it). 

I was able to get in almost immediately and went through a series of x-rays and then I headed upstairs to meet with the doc.  His aide took my heart rate and blood pressure.  It was 64 bpm and my blood pressure (get this) was 140/80.  I explained to the aide I had only slept 3 hours in the last 30 or so hours and drank an absurd amount of coffee to get through it, including one of those red eyes (that stuff really works!)

The doctor was pretty cool and let me examine my own x-rays with him.  I was a little surprised to see an extra bone in the medial side of my right foot.  I can actually see where it protrudes from my skin and always thought it a bit odd it wasn't on my left foot.  The doctor's diagnosis is that I am completely flat footed (I already new that) and as I run, my feet collapse distributing pressure/weight inappropriately throughout my feet (I already new that) and that puts unneeded stress on my plantar fascia and a few tendons (I already new that).  He told me I had a pretty bad case of plantar in addition to having a few tendons in my ankle/foot inflamed.  (Do I have to say it again? I already new that too!!) 

As I described my histroy of running with the pain for a year and a half, (including 3 marathons and an average mileage of 30-50 mpw) the doctor realized how much of a stubborn idiot I was.  He even stated "I am beginning to see the problem."  He recommended I get custom orthostics (can you hear the cash register "cha-ching?"  They are a few hundred bucks!), stretch, ice and try not to be a dumbass and run.  He said I should "at least wait until after I get my orthotics and break them in."  He also gave me designated left and right heel cups, which helped alleviate some of the pain almost immediately. 

It's been a week without running and the pain is getting better everyday.  I have managed to restrain myself from actually going for a run.  Heck, I didn't do anything last week for the first time as far back as I can remember.  I took a week off from EVERYTHING.  I have sprinted up and down the halls at work a few times for emergencies, but that's part of the job. 

I feel like I am going to be starting all over again with my running.  It's definitley a little frustrating and I feel like I'm taking a lot of steps backwards (or none at all if you think about it), but I suppose I will have to deal.  My biggest fear is that none of this works, that my foot wont ever handle the mileage, that my glory days are over and there will be no PRs (personal records) in my future.  The term PR for me will come to mean only past records. 

Now that it's over...

I have no real direction with my training, except I need to keep active somehow.  I am terrified my weight will sky rocket and I will become softer than I already am.  I hate to say it but I think my hair is going grey too...F!!!!

I have done a few runs at easy pace, just to burn the calories and collect on my RDA of Vitamin D, but the left lower leg and foot hurt pretty bad during and at times worse after thsoe runs.  After a year and a half I am suppose to see the doctor on Tuesday, finally.  I feel it will be futile and time consuming, but maybe I can get an injection of cortisone at least for the pain.  I have the sneaking suspicion the plan of care will include resting, no running and minimal activity, but that's impossible seeing as how I am a nurse and my job requires me to run around.  I am uncertain if I could even wear a boot, because a percentage of our patients have c-diff , requiring contact precautions.   This means anything that comes in direct contact with the disease will be covered in the bacteria (Gross!)  Worst case scenario, I have developed some kind of bone spur that's irritating the tendon and I have to have it filed down (God, just the thought makes me want to vomit). 

I am kicking around the idea of hitting up east side cycling when possible and taking advantage of the W.O. Center and the American Cancer Society gyms.  Whatever I choose it has to be something that will burn some calories and go easy on my foot.  So no races, no training schedule, just fix the foot so I can start the next chapter.