Run For Your Life 4 Miler

Friday afternoon a classmate who was re-entering the running field talked me into coming down to a 4 miler in Hudson.  I figured it would be fun to run with him and get in some more miles.  I fell asleep around 4:00am after studying for my finals most of the night before getting back up at 7:30am for the race.  The weather was nice and cool, just like I like it.  I have been miserable in the last few weeks between the heat and my hamstring, running has sucked and been kind of a downer, but maybe there was hope yet.  It was however kinda windy, but still better than warm. 

It was a really small race, maybe 100 people.  He told me not to run with him.  I think he didn't want to hold me back.  I told him I didn't care, but he said to just run my race.  The good news:  I could run hard and test my hamstring.  The bad news: I was going to race the week before I attempted a marathon? Eh, what the hell, my training has sucked, my leg has been f*cked, why not, no guts, no glory.  If it flared up I would just backoff and if I couldn't run 4 hard miles 8 days out from a marathon did I really have any business running one? 

The wind was coming from the west so the first mile going east was easy as pie.  I felt like I was floating.  The timer called 7:05.  That was faster than I had wanted to start out, so I kept telling myself I needed to rain it in and slow down. 

The second mile was uphill and west.  Now, I know I slowed down and it was in the wind and uphill, but when I looked back at my mile 2 split and saw 7:55 I dropped a few bad words and thought maybe that mile had been a bit long?  Could I really have slowed down THAT much in mile 2? 

Anyway, I just kept on running at the time.  I didn't feel great and I could tell I wasn't running well.  I began wodering if I was burned out physcially and mentally.  Between school, my hamstring, studying and a 6 week unintentional taper I wondered if maybe my days of running well were temporarily numbered.  I just held my effort and moved through mile 3 at 7:34.  I was struggling to focus and stay motivated.  I did note however, my hamstring felt tight, but it didn't hurt, nor were there any twinges of pain.  Something was going my way. 

The final turn is about a tenth from the finish and I did pick up the pace a bit then and I watched the clock creep up on my PR time of 30:08 and keep going before finally stopping at 30:13 for me.  Mile 4 was 7:34.  I wasn't even disappointed.  Just drained all the way around.  I had not run a race mentally or physically deserving of a PR.  The funny thing is I ended up 3rd female overall and I received a nice medal.  The announcer then handed me what I thought was a piece of paper.  It was a check for $50.  I was a little embarassed that such a slow time had been 3rd overall.  I wouldn't have even placed in my age group if some of my girlfriends had come down, but hey I am broke and money is money. 

I grabbed some brunch with my classmate and did a little reviewing for OB before heading home to study for 3 hours and take a genetics test.  I finished with about 20 minutes to spare before I had to head to work.  I laid in my bed and turned off the lights trying to rest my mind and my body, neither of which happened.  My alarm went off way too soon and I changed to head to work.  It was mother's day weekend and we were slammed.  I finally managed to leave at midnight. 

Today, I have been studying for my OB final on Tuesday, but my mind has been plagued with thoughts of ...

Am I seriously going to run a marathon next weekend?  What if the hamstring goes -- it's a long fucking walk! 
What if I am overtrained?  Not sure how that is possible since training has been terrible the last 6 weeks.
Why am I running so slow for all my runs?  I have no spring, no bounce, no motivation.
Why am I such a whiney bitch?  Jury is still out.  Probably just afraid of failing.  But what do I mean by that?  I mean really what would be failing for me? 

Wow do they have medicine for this much neuroticism?

Back to OB and complications of postpartum period....