Baby Steps and Strokes

So, I took my final today in Gerontology and had to get 55/90 to pass, as always I am worried I will fail and am out of the program. I have another final tomorrow I have yet started studying for in Community Health and a 20 page research paper due by midnight on Wednesday of which I have 2 pages done. I didn't procrastinate. I literally ran out of time and after 40+ hours of nursing, nursing, nursing it is useless anyway to try and do anything.

I tried to study all day yesterday, but after 4 hours I needed a break so I got in a little run(2 miles)- ride(16 miles) - run(2 miles). It helped refresh me and I managed another 5 hours before falling asleep listening to my teacher drone on and on about gastritis, cirrohsis, Crohns, yadda, yadda...zzzzzzzzzzz...

I swam for the first time since January or December. I managed a little over 20 minutes in the lake and avoided any snapper attacks. I was really pumped I was able to maintain my breathing the entire time. I was expecting to be out of breath about 5 minutes in, but pacing was right on, course I don't know what the distance was. My arms paid the price though as they are still sore today. Reminds me of a workout I did with Daisy once where my arms hurt for almost a week! I think I doubled the size of my traps with one swim. My core was tight too from trying to hold my body in good alignment (like I am a car or something). Hopefully, I am not way far off from my swim times last year and it will come back to me quickly with more open water time.

The volume and the intensity are lacking in my workouts, but they are "workouts" and I am not completely sedentary yet!

Last week I was so swamped with school and work while doing an intervention on childhood obesity at Ravenna City Park I took it upon myself to play a pick-up game of full court basketball with 3 boys about 10-12 years of age, just to get in some exercise that week. I got the chubby kid, but we crushed the other two! HA!!! This old lady has still got some skillz and I even made it a point to pass on shots, so the chubby kid could shoot. I did need an "old persons" time-out though. I was sucking air like a MO-FO' sprinting up and down the court, so different than endurance sports.

A few more days and the workouts should pick back up as I only have to go to campus and clinicals 3 days a week!!!

I really hope this is the worst week (last week) of training I have for the rest of the summer.

Swim - 20 mins (1 swim hopefully 1000 yds???)
Bike - 16 miles (only 1 bike)
Run - 10 miles

Itis so PATHETIC!!! It makes me wanna do something gung-ho and bold, errr, I mean stupid.

My Sunday "Fringe" Ride

It is admittedly true that I have been living for my Sundays and sunny skies, just so I can get out for my weekly bike ride (I usually run too, so I guess it's really a brick). Either way the amount of exhaustion or pain I feel during the workout is a far cry from that of the pain my school work brings me. I am elated too that I can endure a 3-4 hour workout still. This week the ride was just a tad shy of 2 hours with about an hour running.

I headed out east on Pettibone Road and ended up in some podunky area and came upon this!!!

What in the heck was it? Had someone genetically crossed a zebra and a bull?

Then right after I saw that,I saw this ...

I felt like it had turned it's head to look right at me. I gulped and pedaled on hoping I was not going to be unknowingly completing the trilogy series for the "Wrong Turn" movies. What was wrong with a normal scarecrow's head?

As I quickly pedaled away I could only wonder, did Northeast Ohio have it's own Walter Bishop?

Bleeding Hearts

Boy did I hit a nerve today at clinicals. 

It is inevitable that working in the healthcare field is going to bring up the problem of healthcare reform.  While I usually try to play devil's advocate or take an opposing side just for the sake of argument, today it happened because I can't stand the sympathetic, pity party for sooooooo  many who don't deserve it. 

It seems the majority of my classmates believe that ALL people in the United States should get equal healthcare.  I don't quite feel that way.  I believe that since healthcare is tied to income, those who have jobs and pay for it should be allotted healthcare and those who are unemployed, having unprotected sex and having unplanned pregnancies are shit out of luck.  I am a firm believer in Darwinism.  If it comes down to providing food clothing and money for my kid or giving it to someone else's kid because they can't too freakin' bad.  If all these bleeding hearts want to adopt a person without healthcare or a family fine, but don't force me to follow the rules, pay for my healthcare and then charge me money for those who don't. 

I would be all for healthcare for all people if it wasn't a "throw money at the problem" solution.  I believe education, health promotion and disease prevention are key, but not an allowance. (hence my decision to work in the field of nursing -- perhaps I will move to Oregon and do assisted suicide --LOL) 

I see healthcare as a priviledge, not a right.  Why should a smoker or a person that goes to McDonald's everyday and makes poor food choices be given the same healthcare as me?  Both are risk factors for higher inicidences of many diseases.  Why should some homeless bum who spends her life doing drugs and drinking receive healthcare when she gets pregnant?  It is her mistake hence, her problem!  Abortion is a couple hundred bucks.  I would much rather give her the money for the abortion, than pay for her and her kid.  Lets face it, the kid will probably not be that special one that does anything with his or her life anyway (Birds of a Feather...).  And don't give me that "the Lord wanted me to have a baby" garbage, because I didn't get the message from Him that said I had to pay for it!!  Survival of the fittest, if you can't protect yourself and your young...SEE YOU! 

If two kids were dying and both needed a heart transplant, but there was only one heart and you paid into the healthcare system for you and your child all your life and some ghetto-ass, drug addicted mom brought in her baby for the same heart, do you really think that is fair?  I know it's not the child's fault but I refuse to allow the government to make me responsible for a mistake (having unprotected sex), that was followed by another mistake (having the baby) because these people don't believe in birth control or abortion. 

Our society is irresponsible and indulgent.  Americans, can't control money, can't control their diet and they can't control their sexual urges it seems.  We need to teach people discipline, refrain and control while educating them and empowering them to take responsibility for their lives and the lives of their children, not say "oh, it's okay, somebody out there worked really hard and can throw money at the problem for you!  Don't worry, you can continue to be a total fucking loser and never be held accountable.  It's not your fault." 
(I know there are a exceptions to the rule and some people who lose their jobs and are trying.  A system that helps them would be awesome to be in place, but these other people = Be Gone!

Cardiac rehab showed me the unwillingness of so many to change their diet (high fat, high salt, obesity) and lifestyle habits (stress, smoking, inactivity).  I work with a bunch of single moms who worry more about where they are going out after work ends then getting home to their kids.  They all know better, but they don't care and I am suppose to care?

Give me a fucking break!!  Take some responsibility!! Grow up!! 

Our healthcare system is the Titanic. We are sinking and we do not have enough life boats. We are not all gonna make it.

Lost

It's the running theme in my life the last few weeks.  All the work along with the bumper schedule I am on is constantly pressuring what few brain cells I have left to keep me in line as to the when and where of each day.

I can't remember if I am coming or going as I only sleep about 4 hours at a time and when I wake up I am not certain if it is to rise for class, clinical or work.  Just a week ago I drove a few extra miles in the wrong direction to the wrong clinical before realizing what day it was.  I have also locked my keys in the car twice in the last 3 weeks (thank goodness for the hide-a-key).  Not a day goes by that I don't wish for June 25th to get here, so I can be done with this awful schedule.  It is so non-compliant with my life, not to mention with my parents away for two weeks I worry that "The Bails" will be home just a bit too long and try to eat a hole through the wall like he once did as a puppy to punish me for being an absentee owner!  I try to make it up to him by taking him running with me, but training is sporadic at best.

I did get out for a nice bike ride two weeks ago when it was in the 90's.  I meant to go to a family picnic, but had my days wrong and I went to the wrong park.  On my way back I went a new route and got lost for a bit, so with only one water bottle I had to detour to a park to find more fluid before going home.  My lack of seat time reared it's ugly "head" or is it "ass" in this case when my not-so crotch of steal started to become painfully sore after an hour and a half.  Luckily, it was only thrity minutes home. 

I had another midterm this Monday, but felt extremely rebellious as racing season is in full swing and decided after only a few hours of studying on Sunday to go for another bike ride.  Again, I got lost and my hopes of riding about 35-40 miles translated into 49.  I ended up in Mantua riding the Potato Stomp course and then some.  It was the perfect day for a ride and I loved every minute of it, even the minutes after my butt time buzzer for comfort had expired. 

I didn't learn much gerontology that day, but I did learn a long painful ride is still better than any type of studying (especially in the summer!).  Oh, to find my way back to a schedule that is either days or nights with no bumper shift will be glorious.